Huracan Chapter 2. Fast as a mallard

 Friday morning was starting out with a smidge of stress. Yah see, I had this exam that needed done by midnight; but having only taken exams from my home computer, I was a little nervous about the WiFi stuff, signing in, etc. So, since I’m an early riser naturally, I had this plan that Starbucks opens at 5:00, therefore if I positioned my car heading toward the exit of the campground the night before, I could wake up, slip into the drivers seat, and disappear into the darkness to suck on a $9 coffee and crunch some numbers. 

Everything was going as planned, flawlessly, until…. I got to the gate of the campground and it’s locked. Hmm. This is not a common practice in Ohio, our campgrounds never lock. So I am unable to leave until the place opens. Ok, Pivot. What now? There’s a possibility that I can use my hotspot from my cellular device to telepathically, through the airwaves, connect my laptop to the interweb. So I fired up the hotspot and got it all connected, did some playing around and everything seemed to be firing on all cylinders. Now being a risk taker, I decided to go for it, start the 1:30:00 timer and get going on said exam. Just the usual math related questions. If bill has 9 Pennie’s and gives 6 to tom, tom hates Pennie’s so the square root of 144=12. A few of those and the exam was complete. Nice! That stress is done. 

I called my mommy to chat, now that exam weight was off my shoulders. Shortly after, the campground host unlocked the gate and I was free to meander through the beautiful streets of Ocala, Florida. I still had coffee on the brain. 

Ya see, about 8 years ago I hopped a plane to Tj, Mexico and got my stomach removed. So now I’m down 200lbs which is slick, but my eating gets a little wonkie. So due to nerves and driving, I had not really eaten in 1-3 days. Anxious stomach if you will. But all the excitement of the event was burning calories. So I needed my secret weapon. Large Vanilla, Honey, Cinnamon Latte from Bigby with oat milk. Hot or iced, pick your poison. They are both 🔥!. I went Hot and I also got a sausage, egg, and cheese bagel. Asiago bagel of course. That’s a solid 1000 calories I needed. 

The drive back needed a soulful tune. Can’t get anymore soulful then Creed! If your reading this and thinking to yourself “ I would never rock out to Higher by creed in 2026” then…. You’re lying to yourself. 

I got back to Shangri-la Campground; a stones throw past 8:00 a.m.. Cycle enthusiasts were a stirring and people were arriving, one super cool rig followed by the next super cool rig. What’s defined as a super cool rig? I got a few minutes… let me walk ya through a few 💎 gems. 

There was this one rig. 4wd, camper, winch. Tires big enough an athletically built 12 year old could comfortably lay in. It had a dirt bike mounted on the front! And an array or pedal powered units on the back. Like serious adventure to the farthest corners of earth. 

Then we got the stealth fully equipped minivan life. Is this minivan going to soccer practice or a multi day bikepacking adventure extravaganza in the sandy swamps of gator town? Well I’ll tell ya! Out of this mystery machine pops a magical man named…. Ship. 

Character profile of Ship. 

Does NOT use the “T” word. (Train) 🤐 in a direct quote “I just take a loaded bike out with my buddies and send it”. —- What a legend!

Beard/hair color: salt n peppa 

Speed:fast as a mallard 🦆 

Helmet decor: mallard feathers 

Were any mallards harmed in the making of the helmet decor…. Absolutely not. If you meet Ship you’d know… he’s so nice that I’m 99% confident a duck gifted him their feathers. 

Hobbies include: waiting for me at every intersection so I did not get lost 

Ships minivan had the full set up, including a large outdoor cooking area, just perfect for those pre race meals. Ship seemed like a radical enough fella, I just might want to hold his wheel and share some trail if I’m given the chance. (Teaser thingy)

Then you’ve got van-lifers of all shapes and sizes. 2002 E 350, 2024 Sprinter van, 2006 Honda Accord. All converted Adventure mobiles. 

The Expo

I had no idea what this expo thing meant. What would be at the expo? Well, well, well, My credit card and I had not a clue what was in store for us at the expo! PRO TIP: if you’re walking around a bikepacking expo and you see a pink button down with bike print all over it and it is breathable and in a size Medium! And on sale! Just buy it. Buy it now. Do not wait. That could end up being your biggest regret of February 2026… just sayin. 

The first booth was some really fun pink ladies related item bike situation. Looked fantastic but nothing that would fit my body type. The next was rockgeist, I was super Pumped to check out their gear because they make this space link thing I had been wanting to try. It’s a steer tube spacer that allows you to tightly lock in your top tub bag and bar bags. Hopefully it will help with the side shifting of my top tube bag. But that wasn’t the only thing they had. 

They also had a new latest and greatest space age, nasa tested, tiger proof, fully seam welded bag… long skinny bag like a hot dog. And if you remember from Chapter 1, I had been in the market for a way to get my sleep system in a tighter more cylindrical shape on my handlebars, ditching my hamburger shaped stuff sack with compression straps dangling dangerously low; toward my front tire. 

I grabbed one of those bags up and asked if I could “try before I buy”. They said…. Ugh… well…. Ummm… and then I realized that was not the policy 😂. So I did some quick mega precise measuring; ya know like tongue out the side of your mouth, close one eye, squint the other one so hard you basically can’t see, then kinda turn your head slowly to one side, then the other. As if maybe you can convince your eyes to look around the corner of the bag you can’t see. Anddddd it was the perfect size. All measurements checked out and I was confident to take the $95 leap. (Between you and I, they had the bag sold at “tiger proof “🐯) rawr

I purchased the tiger bag and crammed my sleep system in it and it fit perfectly. And my perfectly I mean another 1” longer wouldn’t completely hurt my feelings, but it all fit! Tight and cylindrical! They also had a variety of Valero straps for securement! 

The bag is absolutely perfect and tough as nails. But… since we’re friends, I’ll tell ya the one coviate: the mega lightweight material is noisier then your wife eating harvest cheddar SunChips from those newer recycled bags during a silent pause while watching a 20/20 episode possibly chewing with her mouth open……. That was noisier than YOUR wife doing that…. Not mine 😑

That being said, you don’t really want to put it in your tent next to your sleeping bag because heaven forbid, you roll onto that noisy contraption, you’ll assume your in a fight for your life with a Choo choo train. 

This bag really worked out well, although, my heavy sleep system inside of it, attached to my bars was definitely too heavy. I’ll be moving that weight lower to the front fork in the near future. 

Rockgeist also had these slick new hip pack/fanny pack contraptions. They rolled down from the top, so you could expand it to store food and stuff. Those seemed really neat and definitely on the list for another day. 

After those purchases, I went to the Cognitive Mtb Apparel and acquired my new shirt and shorts. There were several other vendors that escaped my memory, a body work booth, and a Vegan food truck; that I unfortunately was unable to try. 

The Expo was pretty impressive to see all the bags and bikepacking related items I had only seen online before, Definitely a nice surprise El Carlos had put together. 

They had 2 group rides available on Friday, The first being a ladies ride that left at Noon, I believe. Then an Everyone group ride that left at 2:00. This group ride would be the true shakeout ride for most people. It appeared, most everyone was riding fully loaded bikes on this ride. I had redone my own bike setup multiple times by now, and felt I had landed on a winner. 

Sleeping Bag and pad- On the bars 

Tent- strapped to rear rack with sandals and Safety Pizza 

Driver side pannier- warm layers

Passenger side pannier- spare chamois, light weight spare bike parts and tools, first aide kit, pillow, sleeping bag liner. 

Frame bag- heavy electronics in the bottom, heavy food on top. 

I then wore my Ultraspire hydration vest with my water and food. - The idea here was, I could keep that weight (10lbs) on my person, separate from my bike, in….. at least, the first few hours of single track; then  if it became a problem; I could relocate the pack too my rear rack on gravel roads. 

2:00 Group Ride

There must have been over 75 riders out in this group ride, probably more. It was awesome, the temperature was 70 degrees and sunny. Bikes were lining up at the Pavilion in high anticipation for the exciting ride to come. 

As I’m getting ready to head that way; I spot an individual slowly driving around in their car; looking for a camp spot. Since I am just sleeping in my car, I’ve got plenty of extra room; So I wave him down and say “hey buddy, you can park anywhere in my sight, I’m staying in my car.”. He said thanks and pulled in next to me. Cool deal. 

I then pedal off to the start of the group ride. We start riding around the campground and funnel into the first bit of singketrack. Group rides like these are the most fun you could have…. In your life…. Basically. They are ridden at a nice light conversational pace, everyone meeting each other, Except…. You don’t get to see each other. That’s the fun part, as your riding; you’ve gotta be focusing on the trail in front of you with your eyes, but you’re talking to the people in front and behind you. 

Side fact: multiple times during the 6 days of this event, I would be telling a story and someone would say “I think I heard you telling this story on the group ride”. …… obviously they had me confused… I definitely don’t loudly tell excessive stories every chance I get; to anyone with ears 🙄

Back to the group ride: so we’re cruising, and swapping stories, learning one another’s backgrounds. As I listen, I’m learning, most of these people have done multiple “Huracans” and multiple other rides put on by El Carlos; so the atmosphere is very friendly/family esc. 

Once we break out of the single track, onto the paved bike path, the size of this group was becoming evident, we were a massive …. Biker gang 😎. 

Shortly after getting onto the paved bike path, I hear the delightful, soulful, vocal harmonies of the legendary, rock n roll band, Lynyrd Skynyrd; and coming up on my left, is my new campsite friend! The fella I had just invited to share my campsite before the ride. This fella is riding a 26” tire, rim break, vintage unit, with a basket on the front that only held a large speaker. He had forgotten his helmet and when we stopped, he pulled out the largest Blunt I had ever seen in my life. This guys vibe was on a whole other level!😂

Speaking of campsite friends, on the other side of my campsite was a sturdy looking rider named Shil. 

Characterization of Shil. 

Tent- 2 person Rei. Green. Darker like uhhh, olive green. 

Truck- heated leather seat edition. 

Age: had grown children

Goal: finish the 330 mile route in 1 push to train for UNBOUND XL! 

Huracan finish time: 41 hrs 24 minutes!! 

Front chain ring: size of a basketball 

Shil left me his phone number on my car at the end of the event and I plan to call him on my long drive this weekend and hopefully hear a second by second, kilometer by kilometer, snack by snack break down of his entire life. I mean of his entire race. Or life, his choice. 

Shil and I bonded over the fact that we had both “spent at least the last 96 hours” completely and 100% consumed by every single detail of this event. And we both agreed, we were a little more then just, anxious.

Shil was going ultra lightweight and compact. He had the smallest and lightest of all the required gear and he was planning to complete the ride in one shot. 

As Ship and I are riding side by side in the group ride, we are discussing our concerns for the event, when this spooky fit, drill Sargent looking, military kit, loud, confident gentleman pulled up beside us and gave us some words of wisdom, “ the only thing you really need is a chain brush and a big bottle of chain lube!”

Shil and I share a nervous glance. I have a tiny bottle of chain lube, how about you? Shil said “same”. Well shucks, that sounds important. Now I’m getting stressed about chain lube. Ive got a small bottle, and an old rag. I’ll be really careful with the lube and not waste any, then maybe I’ll ask someone for some. That’ll work. 

The group ride split into two, one back via single track, and one group taking the bike path back. I opted for the bike path since I was approximately 5 hours over my 1 hour prescribed “pre ride” by coach tattooey and Miss Xterra. 

Once we got back to the campground, I was rite back at it, Charging!!! Always be charging and topping off batteries. So I plugged my stuff in to the outlet at the pavilion again and got in line for pizza. 

El Carlos had gotten us an array of (child flavored pizza-Shlarke) pizza. 🍕. I’m a mega picky eater so I was stocked for some pepperoni and cheese, although my stomach was still being uncooperative, so I grabbed 3 pieces with high hopes and headed back to my camper/rv/kiaforte and indulged in 1.5 bites. 

There was an enjoyable singing guitar man, he mixed and mashed cover songs. It was good but…. How are you suppose to sing along to a song when the words are changed🤨. Anywho, I figured this was a good time to grab one last hot shower with soap and a towel before my 4-6 day bathing hiatus, so I snuck off and washed again. 

Once things had calmed down and the pizza was consumed it was time for the riders meeting. We discussed Mama Carlos’s 90th birthday, self supported ethos, and finally the fight club rule. Don’t talk about fight club….., I’ll be totally honest with ya, I didn’t have a clue what he was talking about. So he elaborated. 

“If your going to stealth camp on the woods behind the dollar general, turn your tracker off a mile before the dollar general” 

“We’re aloud on both sides of the fence but not aloud to cross the fence”

Ahhhh I’m picking up what El Carlos is laying down! Low level trespassing 😎 my kinda crimes! 

Then the riders meeting came to a close, we hugged and kissed and said goodnight. I headed off to the Kia, rolled the pillowcases up in the windows for that privacy and crawled into my trunk. My bike was ready, food and water loaded, and clothes later out. Only thing left to do was sleep. 

Everything was ready… well ALMOST everything. 

One of the tricks to this event was tomorrow’s 5:00 a.m. coin flip. This means that 3 hours before the start of the event El Carlos would flip a coin and determine which direction we were going. This matters when planning a route for food stops, lodging, and water. This also meant that 2 routes were released. Clockwise route and counter clockwise route. Both were required to be loaded on your gps prior to the event. 

Well, I had done all of those steps. Then when I went to test the routes on a pre ride, the counter clockwise route, calculated to 100% immediately. The CLOCKWISE route wouldn’t calculate past 13%. Well shucks. What to do? What to do? 

GAMBLE. 50/50 shot. Let’s hope for Counter clockwise! 

Now I lay in the trunk of my car and do my good, bad, and ugly meditation, and I sent out CCW energy toward El Carlos’s coin.