Codarado

 So the Thursday before our Monday departure to Colorado, Mommy left for Colorado. So I was officially a single dad of two kids. 

Day 1 of single dad. This is going to be easy cheesey lemon squeezey. I’ll take them on a bike ride, feed them and then take them to grandpas before bed. Papi had picked them up in the morning when mommy left for the airport, so they had been fishing all morning catching the same poor blue gill they have been catching for 5 years……..It’s gettin pretty big though! 

So I got out of work around noon. Went and grabbed the kids from Papis; they were tired. That fits into the plan even better! We do naps, then bike rides, then food then they will be tired again. This is so easy. By the time we got home both kids had gotten a healthy 4-9 minute nap and these little turds were jazzed. They wanted to party! And by party I mean they wanted to go to Colorado now, whoa homies, relax. We got 94 hours! This use of time was a huge error, I had unknowingly opened myself to the phenomenal question of “how many hours until codarado?!?!”. They only asked every few minutes. 

Bike rides? 

Nope

Walk?

Nope 

How many hours until codarado?

93.78

Roller skating?

Nope 

Well shucks. Looks like the only thing on the agenda is anticipation, that’s not apart of the plan. Adapt and overcome. So I figured I would just do my go too when the kid volume level gets beyond an optimal level, I just start cleaning! A little vacuuming and aggressive dish washing will always make them dissipate. 

Wrong again my single dad, without mommy these little mongrals are on me like stink on shit! They won’t leave me alone! We want to clean?!? Huh? Go clean outside I said. No luck. I got two new ride or die members of my gang, intentional or not. 

Shortly after that grandpa arrived to accept his Friday challenge. Sleep over with isla and rowdy👀. 

Grandpa brought them home shortly after I got home from work on Friday and we headed out for dinner. This was grandpas idea…. Strange because when I was a kid grandpa was what they call… frugal? It’s possible he’s changed his ways or they wore him down enough on the solo sleep over. 

We are finally at that age with isla where her inner savage is really blossoming; peace ✌️ out are the days of Mac n cheese at every restaurant, this gal needs B-E-E-F. Rowdy had chicken fingers. 

And the rest of Islas Cheeseburger. Then it was on to project time. Yah see…… I’ve been wanting this wheelie/manual trainer contraption built; but as I learned in Vietnam, work harder not smarter. So I showed rowdy a video of it and He. Was. In. “Daddy, maybe grandpa could build that for us”…… Hmm there bud, I’m picking up what your Layin down. Good thinkin 😉

So after some grub, we headed back to the house where grandpa was fully, fully prepared for the big build. 

An hour or so later the manual trainer/crucifix was complete. We tried it a few times. Much harder then in our fantasies😂

Friday evening into Saturday was filled with typical bro shit. Fryin bacon, grillin steaks, oven pizzas, ice cream runs, and most of all. Anticipating, we made multiple countdowns; ya know, how many seconds until the airport, what if we sleep for 24 hours straight. 

I made a parenting decision to order both the kids Bluetooth headphones on Amazon for this trip, save ol dad some headphone cord… D to the Rama….. if you catch my drift. 

The headphones were what I would call a “smashing hit”. $18 each on Amazon, different colors. So now it’s like a silent rave in my house. Both kids are …. Dancing I think it’s what you call it… all over the house. …. Don’t get me wrong; I’m not judging. I also have my headphones on vacuuming throwing it down to that good ol Ace of Base. 

I had this idea in my brain for a minute now. What if…. I left the kids alone while they slept and got a coffee🤫. I’m not sure what the legalities are concerning leaving children alone; but after talking with the kids…. They couldn’t be more excited to be home alone and live off candy and YouTube. The plan was set. 

I super love over thinking and planning, it makes my heart happy. So I got up at 5. Wrote the kids a note, grabbed my NEW osprey big mega hip back with… not 1….. nah not 1…… but 2!!!! Water bottle holders. So I got two empty thermos’s and loaded up. ….. oh yeah I gotta ride my bike too. It’s like 1.5 miles and ya know…. The environment!!! 

So now it’s dark and I’m jamming out to some “teenage dirtbag” and reliving the glory days of smashing those delicious warm truck box natty lights before the highschool football game. I ride over to the local biggby…. Because…. Drum roll….. my Amherst comets card expires Aug/1, so I can still get buy one get one half off. And I don’t need to tell YOU how amazingly delicious a large honey cinnamon vanilla latte is… iced or hot, pick your poison. Both amazing. But $6.49….. eek. That’s where the comet card came in. 

So now it’s 5:50 a.m. and I’m sittin there relaxin, chillin all cool, when these couple of guys who were up to no good, started makin trouble in the neighborhood, I got in one fight and my mom got scared…. 

But yeah anyway, I’m at biggby 10 minutes early, definitely concerning to the gals in the coffee hut getting ready. So I got an ICED and a HOT. Then boom! I got my thermoses. Poured them each in one. Put them in my hip back water bottle holders and bam, I’m the coolest mother Fer in the world! I rode home to kids still asleep and the motherload of sugar filled caffeine. 

We survived until bedtime and I took them back out to grandpas for solo sleep over #2. 

I picked them up after work Sunday and headed rite to the Crushers game. The crushers are the local minor league baseball team. …. If someone “gifts” your kids tickets to a minor league baseball game…. It’s safe to say they hate you. My 5 and 7 year old are for sure not watching any baseball. 

But those sneaky crushers stadium folks…. They are wise. They got a huge inflatable obstacle course that cost $5 a kid. Scoundrels!!! But it’s a great affordable way to burn off some energy in the July heat. 

It’s a slick little set up, I posted up at an empty table and sat there blissfully. ya see, a little thing I picked up in my 57 hours as a single dad of 2….. being bored in silence is what true happiness is. 

But those tired faces. That’s joy. 🤩 

So now we headed home to clean, the kids enjoy a clean house and wanted to make it perfect for mommy. Because mommy’s birthday is Wednesday. So they wanted to suprise her with a clean house. I like cleaning! I’m in! So we cleaned the house spotless, all the dishes done and laundry put away. We retired at 8:00 per Islas instruction; she was not risking anyone sleeping past our… 11:00 a.m. flight 👀. 

I got up early, triple checked everything in my life, kids couldn’t stay in bed, we were out the door headed to grandpas to take us to the airport. Pretty early. 

I thought😐. 

That TSA line was longgggg. But my kids, they ain’t too bad, they know when it’s serious time. So they were angels. Just jamming on there headphones. 

Isla-katy Perry 

Rowdy- spirits by the strumbellas. 

We made it through TSA and through our gate and daddy’s anxiety finally calmed 🤣. I set the kids by the gate and set off for a delightful iced hazelnut oat milk shaken expresso something and some banana bread from Starbucks. 

3 hour flight from Cleveland to Denver and they didn’t stand a chance. 

Once we arrived at Denver it was lunch time. Now I got a rule, I’m cheap cheap cheap, but once we are through tsa, vacation has started so let’s eat! And then we pass a candy store in the airport. 😔. Daddy! Daddy! Can we get candy?!? NO WA…. Ahh shit vacation rules. Sure, candy for lunch 🙄

So they got candy…. Mind you… they are running on excitement only. No breakfast. A few pieces of bacon. So I take them to the gate and then go get myself a 🥐 🍳 🥓 sandwich with some Aoli. I arrive back at the candy monster children and …. Daddy, can I try a bite of that. So along, MY sandwich, thanks for the bite. 

We then boarded our flight to steamboat! Finally! 

Our driver met us at the airport and took us to amazing condo… thing? We stayed here last year. Same deal, so the kids are familiar. They are jumping out of their skin with excitement. Annoying me to death. So I’m like ok to the mountain! Let’s hike until this volume level decreases. 

Side note: we stayed at the most amazing place that sits rite at the foot of a 2200 ft mountain with a lift that basically comes to the back door. End side note 

So we start hiking and it’s immediate resistance to the hiking uphill thing. So I get irritated. What do you mean you don’t want to hike? You just ran the halls of the hotel like a caged bird. Now we’re too tired to hike?!?!

I was bummed. So we went back to the room and all separated with irritation in the air. Dam little kids all hyper then don’t want to run outside 😡

But ya know…. Between you and me… I know I’m typically wrong. I got these brain coaches. Ames and the dirtbags. So I know that after this little irritation episode, I know I should probably do a quick little meditation and check in with myself. Have that little confronting truth talk. These kids suck. But why? CALORIES!! Dang I forgot. No breakfast, few pieces of candy and nothing else. Just running on adrenaline. Ok daddy messed up. I ordered a bunch of food and we all apologized to each other and Feasted on pepperoni and sausage pizza for rowdy, gyro for me, and isla a burger! 

That girl put an end to that magnificent locally raised wagu beef cheeseburger. Rowdy did 3 pieces of pizza, and I had 2-4 bites of a gyro. 15-20 seconds after that last bite of burger passed the lips, over the tongue, look out stomach here it comes; isla says “let’s hike”!!

Fuck yeah homegirl! Let’s do this! 

Thunderhead hiking trail is 2200 feet and 3.8 miles of beauty and rocks and last year I saw a moose. 🫎. We started up, and up, and up. 

So now you might be thinking…. The tattooed dude is off his fuckin rocker. This isn’t Ohio homie, this is the mountains, elevation, calories, unpredictable weather, wildlife. 

Eeeek that does sound scary, 

But remember the candy store at the airport… o yeah baby, I got these kids loaded up with gummy worms, Oreos, sour patch kids…  you name it. And water, I’m not silly, I had like 2 gallons, first aid kit, bug spray, battery backup for phone, gps, spare clothes, more food. 

This ain’t my first rodeo, I’ve fucked up many of times in my 436 months on earth. I’ve dehydrated to the point of… I don’t know feeling like dying😂. I’ve ran out of food and crawled miles to the car in the dark. It ain’t no thang! 

So here’s a few tips I learned. When hiking with a kindergartener.., if they stop. You stop. Can’t be puttin pressure on any kids. And as soon as they stop, candy, and water. Minimum every 5 minutes I made them drink. 

Isla would flick rowdies hat off, he would pretend to not like it. He would run off in the weeds and grab it when she threw it, then he would run up ahead, leave his hat in the trail, and make bear noises. It was just so much joy, ya know? 

Isla started getting a little fussy, wanting to know how much longer we had to walk uphill. I told her we could turn back at 8:00. Gives us an hour to get back down closer to town before dark. 

That wasn’t working out for isla. She loves math; too much. Also I kept lying about the time. 20 minutes left when we had 37 minutes left. But I get it…. You can’t force hike a 7 year old who’s all messed up on cheeseburgers. So I put my Bluetooth speaker on her and said…. 5 more Taylor swift songs. And boom! Cruel summer on volume 10 and we’re ascending! 

We make it to the halfway point, it’s a shade past 8 and our 5 Taylor songs were done. We posed for a few once in a lifetime photos and headed down. 

The decent was tough, the ground was pretty loose and isla wanted to hold onto me most the way down. Worked for me. Little Islas hand holding on to mine for dear life in Colorado on an epic hike. Yep, I’ll take that any day! 

Rowdy on the other hand, keeping a leash on that savage. Different story. That kid was just bombing down the trail. 

We made it within sight of steamboat just before dark. Isla and Ryer decided to hold hands to cross the “finish line” , basically brought a tear to ol tattooeys eye here. 

We headed up to our room to meet mommy, grandma, and aunt Ella. When I say it was sofa king great… I mean like SOFA KING great. 

The next morning I can’t contain myself. 4 a.m. I’m up and on the same trail. Headed up, headlamp on low and Cody Jinks new song found. It’s a goodie. I don’t know if it was the excitement, loss of fitness, or altitude but I hammered up that mountain in zone 5 heart rate just excited as heck! 

I was hoping to see a great sunrise but I happen to be on the west side of the mountain in the pine trees for like a mile at that time and missed it. I made it to the top when the sun was up. 

I’m not 100% sure how mountains work but I was at the top of something, there was a nice scenic trail around the top so I meandered around that. I saw a sign that said to listen and smell and hear nature. And I was like o yeah… hell yeah. I’m mindful and stuff now. So I did, and then I did a walking meditation. Feeling the ground on your feet and stuff. Good shit. Highly recommend. 

So then it starts to rain, I’m beside myself with excitement, everytime the risk level increases, the adventure stories increase. And i always need a good story! So it starts to rain and I see the most breathtaking rainbow. Just so pretty. 

Didn’t taste the best though. 

I finished the scenic hike and headed down. I was out of food and had that complementary muffins and coffee on the brain from the room. As I got about halfway down o got a pain in my knee. Dang, the ol hikers knee of flaring up. 

Story time: after Christmas my Chinese sister and I got a bunch of ultra running stuff for Christmas. So naturally I recommended we go smash a 25 mile 3000ft hike, because like we had new hydration packs so… the math made sense. 

We were gunna make it, easy. But ya know, I got a bike rack on  my car, may as well take my bike and stash it at mile 15 just incase. 

Well mile 10 the knee felt funny. Mile 12 I couldn’t bend it, only walk backwards downhill. Then mile 14-15 basically crawling. Hmmm. Ok error somewhere. So I got to mile 15, rode my bike to the car and went back to pickup Ella. 

I got home and did some research and I had hikers knee, few YouTube videos and stretching and I was cured. Now I’ll just do these exercises everyday the rest of my life and hike the Appalachian trail with ease. 

Then I forgot. End of side story 

So ok hiking down, knee is starting to feel stiff. But I remembered it’s from hiking incorrectly. Downhill hiking takes some skill and strategy. So I slowed my pace and got mindful about those heel to toe steps. I made it down all good. 

Then we headed into town to shop, not my cup of tea but that’s ok. 

I looked eagerly at every shop before I could make any decisions. Landed on a few shirts, socks, and hats. 

Then pool swimming with the kids and early bed for me. 

The next day was Katie’s birthday, my mom had planned a hot air balloon ride for us at 7:00 a.m. I got up at 4 but decided not to risk an adventure and miss some balloon time. So I drank coffee and read some of my book “white fire”. 

7 a.m. rolled around and we headed to the balloon. 

Things I didn’t know about hot air balloons: 

Operator man spits to find wind direction. 

If you are bald, that flame deal will cook your head. 

Hot air balloons…. Not scary. So that was nice. 

I know what you’re thinking… how much does a 211,000 cubic foot air balloon canvas cost… I gotchu; $35,000 before customization. 

30 gallons of propane used in our 45-60 minute ride. 

We landed in a high school parking lot. 

The pilot fella said if it was 30 years ago we could bungee jump off the balloon. Fekkin safety nerds 🙄. 

We then heard some cool stories from pilot fella and had some champagne. Not I though. I’m sober homie.  Had coffee. 

Note: not sober because I got drunk and beat my wife. Sober because I got drunk and ate 3 pizzas and became 350lbs and got gastric surgery in Mexico then didn’t eat for 32 days… but that’s another blog😉

Then we headed back to the room for birthday cake for breakfast, singing songs, and taking naps. 

Then the girls went to get their nails done and there’s was just ….two dudes, Conrads, homies, pals, brotha frum anotha motha, best friends. Just two best friends with a few hours to kill. 

Rowdy: wanna go indoor rock climbing. 

Me: I’ll buy you a new bike if we hike down the mountain. 

Rowdy; deal. 

My negotiating skills could use sharpened. 

So the plan is. Take the gondola to the top of the mountain and hike down 3.8 miles. Gravity assisted. Basically easy. 

Gondola pass guy was concerned and cautioned it’s a hard hike for a kid. 

Ok good talk 20 year old gondola secretary guy, I’ll take the chance. 

So we get on the gondola and head up. Upon getting off we see a … ski patrol/bike medic lady. I said hi and pressed on toward the trailhead, she shouted “hope I don’t see you later” I responded “you might, not sure if I can handle it. The kids got it though” 

1 p.m. 90 degrees. Once you start down your commute to the bottom. No bailout. 

Omg yes!!! Adventure and risk!!! Wooo!!! 

So we started down. Spirits high. Drinking water, taking about guy stuff. Then we get to a crossroads. 

Me: rowdy, we can take the black diamond trail that’s really hard and steep. Or the easy trail. 

Rowdy: black one. 

Me: my fuckin dude! 🙌 

So we started down, lots of rocks, nothing real intense. There were some fairly exposed sections that were pretty steep, he slid down on his butt, I offered my hand everytime. He declined…. Everytime. 

“Daddy, I gotta go potty” 

Get er done bud! Don’t pee on your binoculars! 

Something ol Ames had been working on, is my patience ya know. Kinda just bein mindful and letting situations play out. Also I got a lot of that from Bike club volunteer training. Let kids be kids and make their own adventure. 

If my dude wanted to stop, gotta stop. Let him do some kid shit. 

Drink and eat. Drink and eat. 

You ever seen someone eat an Oreo angry? Nope. 

Alright buddy, the easy stuff’s over. Now we’re at the hard stuff. Think you can handle it. 

Rowdy: dead serious nod 😂

Down we went. Carefully and cautiously. This was a newly built black diamond .3 mile trail that shortened the whole hike by about a half mile. 

Ok let’s lighten the mood. “Hey rowdy, wanna hear some sick beats.”

Rowdy: yeah, put on my playlist 

So I put my little Bluetooth speaker on his backpack and he sang every word of “Don’t throw out my legos by AJR”

The rest of that section was a lot of butt scooting. Water sipping, and debating who wins in a fight, tiger or gorilla. 

Gorilla. 

Side story. So last year, similar scenario. Rowdy had the same backpack on, with a big yeti metal water bottle. He jumped and landed with his hands on the ground and the water bottle fell out of the side backpack pocket and rite onto the tip of his middle finger. Full of 16 oz of codarados finest ice water. He was 4 and screamed bloody murder, and it immediately turned the nail purple. Then we did half of this hike. His nail ended up falling off a few weeks later. But as we walked around the rest of vacation, I kept telling him to show people his boo boo. Really really made my heart giggle. End side story. 

So this was last year on the same trail on a big rock. 

Therefore we spent a lot of time peering down the trail, anticipating if the next rock was “the middle finger rock” 

Hey rowdy, when are are we gunna ride the divide?

Rowdy: maybe when I’m 12 or in 12 grade. 

Me: copy that. (Inner voice. 8, he can do it at 8)

Bam!!! The rock!! 

Ha boy o boy! This kid found another gear. He sprinted to the middle finger rock, wiggled to the top and boom. Big middle finger 😂. 

That’s a good brain trick to boost your mood. Offensive sign language. Drtbag tip 

Ok. Now this kid is jazzed. That definitely gave him a mental boost. He’s flyin down the trail. 

Now he’s thinks he’s all pumped for…. I guess you’d call them….. elevated platforms? 

Around this time I’d guess we had descended 1500 feet by then. 

“Daddy, this backpacks starting to hurt my shoulders” 

10-4 good buddy, hand it over. A good lesson learned here. Small things added together weigh a lot. 

So just a little math. 3 packs of tissues, 6 “cool” rocks, 1 perfect slingshot stick, Pokémon cards, binoculars, 2 pair of sunglasses, candy, cliff bars, magnifier glass, compass. 

Kinda adds up. 

But I’m ready! Hand it over. I can carry that. Easy. 

I’ll be honest though, just between you and I; I really thought that was a bunch of useless shit. Gotta be light and quick. Keep the heart rate in zone two. Walk what you can’t ride safely…. 

O wait, this isn’t Marji. It’s memories of joy for a lifetime. So yeah it turns out ol rowdy Was onto something. We stopped a lot to search for bears in the binoculars, checked where north was, and ate a bunchhh of candy. 

I kept swapping his water out for the cold water, he was getting hot and his cheeks were getting red. I offered a few times to dump water on him and he finally said yes. I dumped a bunch of room temp water on his head and his shirt. 

Whoaaaa daddy! That’s cold. And now I’m all wet! 

I know bud, sorry! But your cooled down now rite? 

Yep! 

Down the trail we went, pretty much out of the woods now

Second pee break in about 2.5 hours. 90 degrees. Lots of sun exposure. I’ll give myself a pat of the back. Well done Dad! Kept him hydrated enough to pee almost every hour. Nice. 

We were getting close now. 20 minutes from the bottom. I’m like “hey bud, you can drop that huge cotton blanket you’re wearing and catch some rays…

Think what you’d like…. That looks like some 1st grade confidence strut rite there. Almost to the bottom! 

Hey rowdy, after you graduate high school, wanna hike the A/T, C/T, and PCT? I bet we can get mommy to pay… 

Well, daddy, probably but, I just think maybe before that we could go indoor rock climbing? 

😂 

Yeah sure bud, next week. Pencil it in 🙂

Rowdy, how was the hike? 

Rowdy: pretty good but I really want some air conditioning and the couch! 

You got it brother! 

3.2 miles. 

2284 ft of elevation

10,200ft - 8,000 ft. 

3 hours. 

We rolled back into the room grinning ear to ear and wiped! Got a few snacks and headed out to the one and only sleeping giant mountain to hang on the worlds 6th largest ranch. 

Once we arrived at the ranch we hoped in two sxs. The girls got the one with air conditioning and leather seats, and the guys got the open cab so we could feel the fresh mountain air on our muscles. 

First stop was the Yampa River. Ol rowdy’s dogs were a barkin, nothin a little crisp codarado river water couldn’t fix. 

The rocks were slippery and slimy and the water was cold. 

Then we headed up toward loan oak hill. I’ll give you three guesses why it’s called loan oak hill. 

If you guessed because there’s one lonely oak tree on the hill then…. Your smarter then I give you credit for. 😊 

Pretty neat, nothing else will grow up here besides this one oak tree. Impressive 

Once they pried us away from this view we were back on the ascent to sleeping giant! 

The girls opted to turn around to head back to the ranch house to talk about flowers and perfume…. I assume. I like to rhyme all the time. 

We were mainly talking about muscles, protein, the color blue, and tennis. Just normal guy stuff. 

O yeah, Ella wanted to tag along…. And we kinda had to let her because if we didn’t…. It would be a hate crime. She’s cool too. 

We stopped by the original cabin from 1561. Still standing and only a few leaks in the roof! 

Then up up up to as far as the sxs could go. 

My goodness. The views. 

After drooling over the views and studying the game trails and asking thousands of questions…. The ranch tour had to come to a close. 

I had a 5 year old who was in a pretty good calorie deficit and fading. We needed some pizza and fast! We took a shuttle to a neat little pizza joint with homemade pasta and local beef meatballs. We gorged and replenished some of that hard work. 

While we were out on sleeping giant, I got to chatting and heard of this epic hike, the shuttle will only go to 2 days a week because it’s so remote. 6.2 miles of black diamond hiking with 2500 feet of elevation. Rowdy’s ready for another hike and Ella wants in on this one. Sweet. 

Shuttle leaves at 9. I wake up around 4 and lay around until 5 then head down to see if the breakfast is out. It was! Score. So I went over to the big fancy coffee box and start pushin buttons. Or touch screen buttons. Hmm espresso drinks. Neat. So I got a cafe latte, americano, and cappuccino.

It was around this time I think I possibly startled the worker fella in the corner with his headphones on. My bad Ernie! Don’t mind me. Just grabbin some caffeine and a cinnamon muffin. 

How do I know his name was Ernie??? He gave off Ernie energy. 

So now I’m back in the room, 3 person tub just a boilin with hot water and fancy jetts. I sat back and edited a few hundred pictures from the day before and consumed caffeine. Then the planning started. 

Few gallons of ice water, all the food I could find, muffins from breakfast, pizza from last night. Fresh socks, extra socks. Everything. I’m ready. No pack for rowdy today. Don’t need the extra weight on his sneakers. 

I had made a slight dad error and only had Amazon sneakers on him. They were getting mutilated by the codarado mountains. 

So I’m ready and Ella and rowdy are up and full of calories. We got on the shuttle and the driver cautioned about one intensity of the hike. I understand. We won’t finish but we will have fun in the woods. 

Rowdy had a fanny pack full of candy today only. Less weight. And he requested trekking poles to try. 

The driver noted there was a shorter, easier trail to a uranium mine site. Hmm ok. 

That made more sense. Do that hike. First we had to go to the falls. 

The falls were legit. Pretty intense. Rowdy had a good time throwing rocks off the cliff into fish creek. 

It was a short hike to the falls so we turned around and went back into the parking lot to cross over and get on the uranium trail. 

Side note: 2 years ago we went to Florida, Disney and sea world and stuff. End side note. 

So we’re walking through the parking lot and Ella starts making conversation with rowdy. He was in grit mode and pretty silent. 

Hey rowdy, would you rather live in Florida or Colorado ? 

Rowdy: Florida 

Ella: really?!? Why’s that bud? 

Rowdy: I really want to try a coconut. 🥥 

🤣

Some random guy in the parking lot with his head in a trunk: GAH! A coconut?!? Huh? To try a coconut? Hmm. Ok 😂

We all laughed. 

Now onto the uranium trail, we get to the trailhead and it says make sure you paid the fee. Hmm shit. I did not pay a fee. Dang. I figured the driver would have told us about a fee. Well Ella and rowdy, you guys head up, I’ll run back and pay a fee then meet you. So I run back up and there’s a $5 fee. 

That’s easy. I buy 3 tickets and they say to put them in your windshield. Hmm. No car, o well. Beautiful trails to donate $15 too! 

So I headed back to the trail. I brought the GoPro today to try and get rowdy excited about the hike. 

I catch back up to them just in time for a snack. 

Mike n Ike’s and starburst 

It was getting very hot, I kept feeding him water. He kept hiking. Head down. Silent. Gritting it out. We hiked up and up and up. 

The go pro wasn’t helping my boy. Hmm. What other tricks down dad sleeve do we got. Not much shade up here, how about a nice long stop in the shade bro? 

Daddy I’m really hot? Ok bud! I shot some ice water down his back. 

Woops. Immediate tears. Oh shit. Sorry buddy!!!! Tight hugs!!! I’m sorry!! I just want you to cool down. He was mad for a minute but then he got over it and the redness went away in his cheeks. 

Was this a correct tactic? Few minutes of tears for 30 minutes of being cool? Hmm. I think so but I’ll meditate on it later and get back to ya 😉

I’m noticing the stare. My boys cruisin for a bonk. He’s done a lot. 

Hey rowdy, we can head back bud, no big deal. 

Rowdy: I think I’d like to go back. 

No problem bud! Lead the way. 

Now I’m feeling a little bit guilty. Did I push the dude too hard? I don’t wanna break him. 

So we start heading back and we hear “You find any coconuts up there?!!😂 it was our parking lot friend. 

Rowdy stops randomly. Want me to pose for a picture here? 

Ha. Uhhh sure bud. Whatcha got? 

What rowdy got… 

Man did I laugh when his “pose” was the middle finger. This kids a trip! 

And he was rite. All of our moods and energy went through the roof. Smiles all around. 

Bear check. 

So now we are descending down rocky terrain. And talking to a go pro and I roll my ankle like a dum dum. So that’ll be a good go pro video when I get home and edit it 😂

Ankle rolls are my jam though. I’m a seasoned vet. Just a little limp. 4 ibuprofen and continue on. We got back to the parking lot, called the shuttle, and had some candy. 

So the ankle is tender but I’m on cloud 9. I’m crafting an adventure buddy for life and I’m being real mindful to keep it fun and his idea. 

Come here rowdy, give me a hug, I love you! Let’s take a picture. 

Rowdy: ugh daddy? It looks like a leprechaun stepped on your head. 

HA! What?!? I can’t get my phone turned around fast enough. What does he mean? Shamrock print? Clover? I’m confused. 

Well. Turns out exactly what he said. 

It looks exactly like a leprechaun stepped on my head 😂 

I believe it was a dirty finger print/pain related forehead touch. 

But that makes a bad story so I’ll stick with I got drop kicked my a leprechaun🤣

 

The girls went to a botanical garden and sniffed flowers I guess. They shared some el photos. 

Once we got back to the room, we had bikes rented for the afternoon but they got cancelled due to lightening on the mountain. I wasn’t incredibly disappointed because if you remember from 41 minutes ago you read about how I bribed rowdy to hike down the mountain by buying him a new specialized P1 dirt jumper color: orange. So saving the $300 for bikes wasn’t a bad thing. 

Rowdy needed some R&R with his homegirl so we headed to the pool. 

Rowdy: can we do another middle finger picture? 

Umm. No it’s not aloud unless you’re hiking…… orrr under water. 

Once they had exhausted themselves in the pool it was back to the room for some family napping. Then bowling! 

This place was fancy too, they can put the bumpers up electronically for individual players. Neat. 

I got an NA beer and loaded fries. I almost beat Katie but then didn’t. I think it’s cause she’s so much older than I am. More experience. 

Rowdy got a corn dog and isla got… a 🍔 

It was our last night and the kids were getting wrestles, so we let them do a game by themselves. 

While waiting for the shuttle the kids couldn’t stop climbing on Katie. Perfect. Cute ass family. Picture time! 

The next morning was Friday. We had to checkout by 10, so I got up at 4 and headed up the mountain. Can’t waste these minutes. No music this time. Just being contious and mindful of the environment. 

I had my doctor prescribed ankle brace and fancy soles. So ankle was solid. 

Side story: I’ve got 2 shit ankles. One was destroyed when I was 350lbs hammered at a kid rock/lynyrd skynyrd concert. 

And the other was destroyed in a 3mph DUI Harley wreck when I was 21. 

So ankle issues are my signature move. End side story. 

Ankle felt great… as it could. Ground was perfect for traction. I was cruisin. 

I did some soul searching then turned some tunes on the way down. Tyler Childress was tickling my fancy today. 

Once I got back, I got fancy coffee and lots of muffins for the flight home. 

After we checked out we went into town to shop. I had been eyeing some hats and socks. 

Then we went and got lunch at a burger joint. Pretty good. 

Our driver showed up and took us to the airport. Real easy. Almost home. 

Or not. 

We got to the airport, through TSA. Steamboat is a 2 terminal airport. It’s tiny. With weather issues. So we got a small delay. No big deal. Anyone wanna check their bags? Sure. That will be easy. I check both kids luggage. 

Then as we are boarding an hour late I hear why… someone snuck a dog on the plane before us 🤣. That’s funny. 

So we got on the plane and… delayed 30 minutes. Issues flying into Denver. Well 3 hours later sitting on a plane we all intended to be on for 30 minutes… tensions were rising… not for me. Lots of new babies on board. So a mutiny was happening. Again… not by me. 

People wanted off. So they unloaded half the people. Then we hung out a while longer and finally took off. 3.5 hours late. 

So we missed our Denver flight and needed a hotel. Another adventure. Fine by me. Not as cool as an adventure in the woods but an adventure nonetheless. So we got to our hotel and realized we had gone from a 2700 sq foot condo to this 31 sq ft room with 6 of us. Yikes. 

Also remember how I checked the kids bags? Yeah so nothing for them. No pull ups for rowdy. He can handle not having one if we cut off his liquids, but the poor kid has been on a wild diet and exercise plan the last week so I’m not gunna cut him off. 

So Katie and I took our first ever uber ride in a Tesla! To go get pull-ups at 9:30 at night. While Ella walked to ruby Tuesdays and got a bunch of food. We all feasted on our beds, plugged in devices and slept. A bit. 

Isla and grandma were the first ones up, down at breakfast. Isla is meant to be a wealthy traveler. She’s so ready. Just goes up barefoot and starts asking people how to get food. 

Then rowdy rolls out of bed and comes down. But no one needs my help. Islas got it! She will serve rowdy because she’s 2 years older and 3/8 of an inch taller. 

Rowdy had his signature… mix of all cereal. And hot chocolate. Made my chef isla herself. 

Everyone had full belly’s and had gotten sleep. We were hopefully headed home and tomfullery was being had. 

And as we are waiting for our airport shuttle. Delayed flight text. Ahhh again?!? O well. Airport life. Let’s do it. 

Rowdy insisted on rolling mommy’s luggage. It was slower but I can read between the lines. The kinds doing a reverse wheel barrow run with like 67% of his body weight. Get it bud! Free training. 

Then there’s isla. Just another day in the life of being bougie. 

We were 4 hours early now with too much energy. The kids were being less then ideal annoying wise. So I found a little closed off section of the airport, gave them their boundaries, put my headphones on, and let them burn it off. 

We had Starbucks, donuts, McDonald’s, random breakfast sandwiches, you name it. 

Then our flight gets delayed again and the gate gets changed. I get the text on my phone about the gate change and I glance around… everyone else is looking at their phones, then pretty much all at once we were off to the races. I grabbed two carryons and speed walked to the next gate. Gotta get the comfy chairs with chargers. 

That my friends is what we call. A victory. 

And then the plane arrives!! Woohoo! Time to go home! 

And then. “We’re sorry folks, we have a maintenance issue they are working to resolve. 

Then an hour and a half later. We are airborn. O-H-I-O here we come 🥲

We landed late. Got home later. Went out for milk. Told isla she can’t make bracelets in bed with her light on after midnight. 

Super adventure. 

Super memories. 

Super joy. 

And I got some sweet pictures to add to the confidence wall. 

Side note: the confidence wall is where I put all the pictures of the kids doing cool shit. In front of their bikes in the garage. A little reminder that there are no boundaries when it comes to adventure, end side note. 

Thanks for the trip mom!